A lady called me and asked me if she could do the tarpanam for her parents and her ancestors. She said her brother doesn’t believe and wont do. She believes it and wants to do it.
Yes — girls and women can and do perform tarpan rituals for their ancestors. Traditionally, it was believed to be the son’s duty, but today many scholars, priests, and spiritual teachers acknowledge that water is programmable energy and carries the vibration of intention. Since women naturally embody nurturing, emotional strength, and the ability to hold space for their families, they are equally capable of offering tarpan with devotion and sincerity.
If you are the only child of your parents, or if you feel called to carry out ancestral duties, you can absolutely perform these rituals during Pitru Paksha. What matters most is shraddha (faith), bhakti (devotion), and sankalpa (pure intention). Can Girls do Pitru tarpanam? MY answer is Yes.
The complete Guide for Pitrupaksha Rituals is here
Step-by-Step Guide for Pitru Paksha Tarpan
1. Preparation
- Wake up early, bathe, and wear clean clothes (preferably white, yellow, or light cotton).
- Arrange a small space for the ritual facing south — the direction connected with ancestors.
- Keep ready:
- A small bowl or lota with clean water.
- Black sesame seeds.
- Barley, kusa grass (if available), and flowers.
- A plate with rice balls (pindas) or cooked food to offer.
2. Sankalpa (Intention)
- Sit calmly, close your eyes, and pray to Lord Vishnu, Yama, and your Pitru Devtas (ancestors).
- Make a sankalpa (intention), saying you are performing tarpan for the peace, blessings, and upliftment of your lineage.
3. Tarpan Ritual
- Take water in your right hand with sesame seeds and barley.
- Offer it slowly onto the ground (or a plate) three times while chanting “Om Pitrubhyo Namah.”
- Visualize your ancestors receiving this water as energy and blessings.
- Offer pindas (rice balls or food) with devotion, thinking of each ancestor (parents, grandparents, great-grandparents).
4. Prayers and Gratitude
- Light a diya (lamp) and incense stick.
- Offer flowers and pray for forgiveness for any mistakes.
- Ask your ancestors for blessings in your family’s health, harmony, and growth.
5. Conclude the Ritual
- Feed crows, cows, ants, or donate food to the needy — this is considered the highest form of offering.
- End with folded hands, chanting:
“Om Shanti Shanti Shantih” (Peace for all beings).
Key Thought:
It is not gender but faith, devotion, and sincerity that connect you with your ancestors. Girls and women can carry this sacred duty with as much power and authenticity as sons.
The complete Guide for Pitrupaksha Rituals is here
